As I stand before you today with my new found "second class citizen" status, I just wanted to take a moment to recognize everyone who is responsible for putting me here.

1. The people of California. You have disabused my belief that we are better than "they" are: more tolerant, more enlightened. Until last night, I would have never believed that Californians would vote to take away established rights from other Californians. You proved yesterday that California is just as redneck as Arkansas.

2. President-elect Obama, Vice President-elect Biden, and Governor Schwarzenegger, for your half-assed support. All three of you officially opposed Prop 8, but where were you? Press releases don't cut it. Mentioning your opposition to Prop 8 on Ellen's show doesn't cut it. We needed decisive, public opposition to Prop 8. Hell, the Yes people used your own words to paint you as supporters of Prop 8. And while we're on the subject, President-elect Obama, 61% of California voted for you. That means a lot of your supporters voted for Prop 8. Would it have hurt you to lend us a little of your glow?

3. Mayor Gavin Newson, who is on this list "whether you like it or not."

4. Los Angeles. What happened? We were counting on you guys. You've always stood with Northern California on social issues before. Your 50.1 Yes vote sealed our fate.

5. The No On 8 organization for running a shitty campaign. While you were wasting our money on touchy-feely "I love my gay daughter" commercials, the opposition was planning a Karl Rove-like pit bull attack campaign. You only woke up until it was too late and the horse was out of the barn. You pissed away a 17 point lead and snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

6. The African-American community. Apparently the only civil rights that are important are your own. There was no crisis of conscience with you guys. With an 80% Yes vote, you have come down squarely and loudly on the side of intolerance and bigotry. As you were crying your tears of joy at the realization of your dream last night, did you stop to think for one minute about the heartbroken tears of thousands of gay Californians whose dreams you shattered?

7. The California Supreme Court, for refusing to consider that Prop 8 is a revision to the constitution, not an amendment, therefore requiring a 2/3 vote of the legislature. How the hell can stripping away established rights of citizens be anything other than a revision?

8. The Mormons. I debated putting you on this list. After all, why should I expect anything different from you? It's like getting mad at a cobra because he strikes. It's what they do. Nevertheless, it pains me that California's constitution is being changed primarily because of you. What a sad irony to be taking "family values" lessons from you: a group where polygamy, incest, and pedophilia are still practiced in some quarters.