The Satirical Political Report has gotten hold of the script from John McCain's newest attack ad, which is now being produced.

(Announcer)

Barack Obama...secretly involved in a gay wedding to Weather Underground radical William Ayers, in a ceremony performed by a Muslim cleric, and openly consummated in front of kindergartners.

Barack Obama. Not just bad for America. But bad even for Showtime and HBO.

(John McCain)

I'm John McCain and I approve this message.