Your Tax Dollars At Work

Texas is one of four states which have laws banning the sale of dildos and pocket pussies. The law is rarely enforced, mostly in the redneck areas, of which there are many. You can buy sex toys all over the place in Houston, but try to find a buttplug in Dallas, as I did once, and you'll come up short.

There is a loophole in the law. The law technically prohibits the sale of devices "used to stimulate a sexual organ." So as long as you sell them as "novelties," you're fine. It's a stupid law. Probably something you would never have to worry about. But it exists. And, people do sometimes run afoul of it. A woman in Burleson, Texas was arrested for having Tupperware-type parties for housewives where she was selling sex toys. Some of the good Christian women in town took offense and asked the police to investigate. The woman was arrested because she made the mistake of describing how to use the dildos. Apparently the Burleson police thought that middle aged housewives armed with dildos was a threat to the community.

Enter the 5th US Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans. On February 13, 2008, this court overturned the Texas law on the basis that it was not the state's business what people did in the privacy of their own bedrooms (novel concept). Justice Thomas Reavly wrote in his opinion, "Whatever one might think about the use of these devices, government interference in their personal and private use violates the Constitution."

But it doesn't stop there. Idiot Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott is going to appeal that decision. He claims that if this law is overturned, it will lead to challenges of other Texas laws regulating sexual behavior like incest, bigamy, and, of course, bestiality.

I love the way right wing politicians, and their partners in crime, the right wing religious Baptist nuts et. al., always raise the specter of bestiality on everything. If we allow gay marriage, it will lead to bestiality. If we allow middle aged housewives to pleasure themselves, it will lead to bestiality. They must believe that every human being has some latent sheep fucker inside him, just waiting for the opportunity to get out. Of course, this is Texas we're talking about. That probably happens more times than we would care to know in the Lone Star state.