I'm feeling a little melancholy tonight. It suddenly dawned on me that, while everyone else will be doing the hearth and home thing this weekend, I'll be on a plane back to San Francisco.

I have no one to blame but myself. I planned the trip. And I specifically chose Thursday because I didn't want to fight the crowds on Wednesday or during the weekend.

But reality is setting in. Once again, I'm alone on the holiday. It certainly isn't the first time. And I doubt it will be the last. Many Thanksgivings have passed when I couldn't go home because I was working, or didn't have the money, or was otherwise occupied.

I did go home last year, but it was a horrible weekend. I had just broken up with my husband after 3 1/2 years. The wound was still very fresh, so I spent the Thanksgiving weekend emotionally tucked away in some barren wasteland.

I guess I could have left a few days earlier. There are people who care about me in San Francisco who would have taken me in for the day. I'll have to remember that next year.

In the meantime, in an effort to cheer myself up, I've started thinking about the things I am thankful for. And they are as follows:

1) I have my health. Despite my best efforts to live an unhealthful lifestyle over the last 49 years, this old body is still hanging in there. If I ever do get serious about my resolution to live a healthier life: lose weight, eat better, exercise, quit smoking for good, etc etc etc, I'll probably live to be 110. And my family is healthy too. My brother and sister are all older than I, and no problems so far. My mom is still knocking around at 81.

2) I have a pretty good job, and make a pretty good living. I'm fairly autonomous and my boss is based in another city. Not too many jobs where one can come and go as one pleases.

3) My job allows me to travel back and forth to San Francisco at will. I don't need a particular reason. I just go. And it gives me the opportunity to live in a city that most people dream of vacationing in.

4) I feel good about myself. That seems like a small thing, but I know so many people with self-esteem issues. Loving yourself is the first step to loving others.

5) I have a lot of great, caring friends. Both in Houston and San Francisco.

6) I guess I'm thankful for being gay as well. It makes life interesting. I sometimes feel sorry for breeders. If I were a breeder, I would be spending Saturday night sitting on the couch watching tv with my middle aged wife, waiting for the kids to come home. Life would be a lot duller. Being gay keeps one young at heart. And think of all that disposable income. Despite all our drama, bitchiness, and other issues, we are a fabulous people.

Those are a few things that I thought of off the top of my head. I'm sure there's many more if I pondered it. And, I'm sure most people will have similar things when they consider what they have to be thankful for this weekend.

One of the things I'm most thankful for right now is the weather in San Francisco. I just checked and it's supposed to be sunny and mid 60's for the next 10 days or so. It was almost a sign from God when a cold front moved through Houston tonight and the temperature dropped into the 50's. When I checked the extended forecast for Houston, it said rain and 50's the next 10 days. So it will actually be warmer in San Francisco than here. That makes me feel a hell of a lot better about going.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!