Well, first of all, I'm GAY. That's G-A-Y. Otherwise known as homosexual, queer, fagela, poofter, and many other derogatory names.
Why do I put gay at the top of the list? Because being gay is the thing that defines me the most. I really get put off by guys who say things like "being gay doesn't define me" or "being gay is a small part of my life." Bullshit. Being gay is the single most important thing you deal with in your life. How you handle being gay determines your entire existence. It's the difference between being a middle aged married man with kids who hangs out in the adult bookstores for glory hole action, or someone who's completely comfortable with himself.
I am completely and totally out of the closet. I am out at work. I am out to my family. I am out to my friends. I don't give a shit who knows I'm gay. And I dare anyone to call me queer to my face.
I am also a "bear." For those who don't know, "bear" is a sub-group in the gay community. It consists of larger, hairy guys. Guys who look like bears. I'm also a "daddy bear," because I'm middle aged. Old enough to be your daddy.
Bears break the rules in the gay community. One doesn't have to be young, slim, and beautiful to fit in as a bear. In fact, guys that are young, slim, and beautiful are frequently looked down upon.
One of the nice things about being a bear is you get more attractive as you get older. You don't lose your appeal at 25 like those South Beach twink boys. I've found that I'm much more appealing to guys the older I get.
So basically, since I'm an older big guy I have everything going against me in the gay world, right? WRONG. I understand that I may not be everyone's idea of hottness, but in the bear community I'm a pretty good catch. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I hold my head high.
